Get Well Soon eCard

Keep it short, warm, and free of advice. Say you heard they are unwell, that you are thinking of them, and that they should feel no need to reply.

If you can offer something concrete, food, a lift, taking something off their plate, name it specifically rather than leaving it open-ended.

Avoid prognoses, medical advice, and forced positivity. Telling someone they will be back on their feet in no time, suggesting a treatment, or saying everything happens for a reason all put the burden back on them.

Avoid stories about someone else who had the same thing, too. However well meant, they rarely comfort.

Drop the recovery language entirely and stay in the present. For chronic or serious illness, "get well soon" can read as a demand, so writing that you are thinking of them, that you are not going anywhere, and that they need not reply is kinder.

Offer something specific and then follow through on it.

For minor illness and surgery, usually yes. A joke can be a relief when everyone else is being solemn.

For anything serious, take your lead from the person: if they are joking about it, follow; if they are not, do not start. When you are unsure, warmth without humour is never the wrong call.

Focus on the recovery rather than the operation. Wishing them a boring, uneventful few weeks and telling them to accept every offer of help is more useful than praise for their bravery.

Sending a second card a week or two in, once visitors have thinned out, is often the more valuable one.

Send it as soon as you hear, then consider sending another later. Illness attracts a rush of messages at the start and near-silence afterwards.

A card two or three weeks in, when the novelty has worn off and the recovery is still going, often means more than the first one.

Keep it playful and about them rather than the illness. Get well cards for children work best as a distraction: a joke, something to look at, something to do.

Choosing a reveal gives them exactly that, which is usually worth more than the words.